Here Goes Nothing…

18 Jun

It’s been 3 weeks since we found out the news about Cora’s possible (probable) diagnosis. We’ve done well just living life in the past 3 weeks as we awaited tomorrow’s biopsies, but I won’t lie, in the back of my mind, I hear voices. My voice.  It sounds a little something like this.

  • What will this diagnosis mean for us?
  • How will an IV and sedation affect our wonderful-to-date attachment?
  • What if she does have cancer?
  • What if alllll of those little spots are cancer?
  • Why did this happen?
  • Thank the Good Lord this happened after she was home.
  • What obstacles will she face down the road?

I’ve gone and read bunches of websites, I’ve contacted a non-profit and I’ve learned that if this is the exact thing they think it is, that the percentage of people who have it in Korea is 1 in 13.9 million people.  I’ve read scary things and I’ve read things to put my mind at ease.

But the reality is that we don’t know today, but after tomorrow’s biopsies, the answer will likely be given to us. (Not tomorrow though, but in 5-7 days, most likely.)

So, we go to baseball tonight, as we do almost every night, with our wagon full of things to keep us occupied. Though lately, all that seems to be needed is a sucker. 😉

We’ll have our bath.

We’ll wake up in the morning and head to the hospital and pray that what the doctor sees winds up not being what she thinks.

Prayer requests:

  • Cora has no issues with skipping breakfast in the morning.
  • Cora’s IV goes in without causing her grief
  • They understand that there is past fear from surgeries and help make her feel as secure as possible.
  • Cora understands that we’re not dropping her off, as before, and that we’ll be there when she wakes up.
  • They ALLOW us to be there when she wakes up.
  • The Korean translator shows up.
  • The surgery goes well.
  • NO cancer.
  • If there is cancer, minimal cancer.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27


5 Responses to “Here Goes Nothing…”

  1. Lydia Smith June 19, 2012 at 12:17 am #

    Oh, Jen…I will be thinking about you and Cora tomorrow. Kian had outpatient surgery back in March (Friday the 13th to be exact), so I understand your anxiety about anesthesia. The nurses were so nice and applied a topical anesthetic to his arm so he wouldn’t feel the IV. They even numbed up both arms ‘just in case’ they needed to stick him twice All medical centers are different, but maybe you could request this? I appreciated that they took care not to hurt Kian or get him worked up before they took him back to the OR. Hope everything goes smooth for you tomorrow and that you get great news from the biopsy!

  2. stephanie June 19, 2012 at 3:09 am #

    Definitely praying SPECIFICALLY for all those things on your list…and for strength for YOU.
    I would be pushy, pushy, pushy (a.k.a. demanding) that you be there when she wakes. Specify that they are NOT to pick her up to try to console her when/if she rouses. I wish I would have been pushier about this with my girls. They always come and get me AFTER they are awake and in some nurse’s arms.

  3. amy June 19, 2012 at 3:47 pm #

    Thinking of you and your family today…..

  4. Rita June 19, 2012 at 7:43 pm #

    Jen, I’m a friend of Grace P’s and have been following your blog for a while. Just wanted to let you know that I hope everything went well today and I will be praying for your family and for good news from the biopsy.

  5. Mandy June 20, 2012 at 1:18 am #

    Hi Jen, I left a note a few weeks ago–have been reading your blog while waiting for my daughter Hope to come home from Korea. (She is home now, is 20 months old.) I will pray for all the good outcomes you posted and grace for you & your family as you wait for the results to come back to you.

    Mandy (Baltimore, Maryland)

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