42 Days

25 May

For 42 days, I have had a certain little someone glued to me.
Closer than this.
In my arms most of the time, but if not, very near me. Sometimes Dave, but with the quick return to me.

It reminds me of the Chris Tomlin song lyrics:

Where you go, I’ll go
Where you stay, I’ll stay
When you move, I’ll move,
I will follow you.

It’s all good! Well, most of the time.  Baseball every.single.night is hard sometimes, but luckily Appa is a coach on one team so she can hang out in the dugout 50% of the nights.  I miss watching these amazing boys do their thing.
I’m just putting in my due time.  The time that is needed, the time that I learned about and expected and committed to. I’d love to say that I’m graceful all of the time, but of course I can’t. I’m human, I get tired and 6 weeks ago I was someone who was so happy in a completely silent house for hours a day. But time is what is needed for both of us.

Sometimes for her benefit, sometimes for mine.

I had this 6 week thing in my head for a few weeks now.  If we could just make it to 6 weeks, I could try leaving for a brief outing and then come back.  Dave has left with her a couple times to go to the park, but I have never left without her.  Today, things were in a position where I felt like I could get out fast if I just pushed myself to do so.

Dave was working from home but had 30 minutes before his next meeting.  The kids were ready to do a project at the table that I set up for them so Dave came out, I told them I was running to Target and she questioned it, obviously unhappy.  But I kissed all 4 and off I went. No tears, no sadness, just “bye mom!”

!!!!!!!

I returned 30 minutes later with celebratory Hello Kitty tattoos.
And a little girl who saw that Mommy leaves and Mommy comes back.
And she learned that mommy dances like a crazy when she gets to go out! 🙂  She joined right along whooping it up.
The clouds of newness are breaking apart a bit! The sun is shining!
We’re doing this!

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2 Responses to “42 Days”

  1. megan r May 25, 2012 at 12:40 pm #

    Going to target ALONE was my slice of heaven when the girls were first born…oh wait…it still is. I think they should serve drinks there after 7pm. Glad you got your first (of many more) 30 min break!

  2. stephanie May 25, 2012 at 12:47 pm #

    You go, girl! Way to take care of yourself and show Cora that you will always come back at the same time. A Target run is so therapeutic, isn’t it??!!

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