Top 5 Tips from You!

1 May


  • Relax:  Point taken! 🙂  We came home, started transition and then everyone got sick. Home for days kind of sick.  One day one kid, one day the next. Then, the next day we’d start over with kid #1.  The first day both kids were in school was only 4 days ago.  Today is really our first week of being mom and Cora while the kids go to school.  And it was a good day.  And now that I’m not wondering when Nurse Beverly is going to call me telling me to come take a kid to the doctor, I think that it meant I was looking for something new to stress about. I appreciate you telling me to relax. I want to relax. I did relax today and we had a great day! A really great day! (We skyped with Sarah! More on that later….)



  • Believe in Myself: In case it didn’t come across, I’m not sad or depressed, really. I promise! I think that some of you thought that. Not one bit! Tired? yes! Questions? Yes! I really just wish that I had a village in my village, you know?  But the reminder that I’m Cora’s mom and mom knows best.  You know that feeling that you have in your gut when your kid gets hurt or when your kid is sad and you feel it? Like FEEL it. That is happening. When Cora is sad, I feel it.  Perhaps not as deep yet as when one of the boys hurts themselves, but it’s growing in my belly, that physical feeling that a mother has and I know it’s going to be like a fire taking over.  I am so protective of her and feel that motherly instinct to keep her save and feeling loved. It’s not a given initially with adoption, as attachment is a 2-way street, so I’m so thankful that I do genuinely feel those feelings. What a good reminder that I’m capable, called and never alone.



  • Find Some Me Time:  I talked to our agency today and she agreed with all of you: TAKE A BATH! Let Dave be in charge, let Dave console if she gets sad and just let Dave be dad! I won’t lie; that’s scary for me.  But more and more each day she is allowing Dave in.  The last two days she’s gone to the basement to play ping-pong with him alone. Whoop! And tonight she made him sing lullabies with me.  Double whoop.  Bath night might be Wed. 😉   On the flip side, Dave has so many obligations that I ask for your prayers for me to be a bit more graceful in understanding.  When I drop the kids off at school at 7:50 and he comes home at 4:30 and leaves to coach baseball from 5:05-7:15pm, that’s a long day of responsibility for me.  Tonight was not such a graceful night.



  • We’re in for a Long Haul: Again, I don’t know if I didn’t put this out there in the right light, but I totally get this. I know it completely and I realize we’re talking about a lifetime of attachment issues that may arise. I completely 100% know that we haven’t even made a visible scratch in the process.  But thank you for reminding me that it’s about weeks and months and years…we can do this!! We’re doing it!



  • Don’t Look for Problems:  Maybe the way she’s acting is just her? We won’t know for a long time, but that was a big lightbulb moment for me.  I don’t know why I thought/think? that her “I’m good!” attitude is false and survival-mode, so we’ll see! She is a joy, none-the-less.  I do expect some trials coming up, but the closest thing we’ve come to “disagreeing” about was putting her shoes on at baseball.  We shall see!


My goal for the month of May?  Love. Bonding, love, fun, park, picnics, walks, baseball (*sigh* lots of baseball) and prayer for peace and extra patience and love and understanding that can come from God alone. Nothing else. OK, maybe a meal plan.  SO much gim and bap and tuna bap and kimchee bap and mandu bap and….do you see a pattern here! We need her to give into a few of our regular dishes.  It’s a mess, our meal time.  A whole hodge podge of mixed up meals.  Gotta get a handle on that a bit more. But that’s it!

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Philippians 4:6 NLT

I think that’s about the best advice in the world. Do not wory, tell God what you need and thank Him.  I think I may print that and put it on my wall.

For those who have adopted older and have been guided this way via Elizabeth (thanks Elizabeth!) or any other means, please feel free to email any time if you think you have advice for me! I appreciate you!! (All of you! All who messaged, commented or FB’d me. Thank you!)


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