In The Thick Of It

21 Apr

Warning: SO long!

Let me start this post by saying just how wonderful we are doing after expecting so so much “hard”.  We are seeing Cora’s personality come through more and more every day and dare I say she is more rambunctious than Miles! If that’s possible! She giggles pretty much all day long as long as the boys are around.  She laughs at herself, she laughs at them, she laughs at Hugo (!!!) and she laughs at me and Dave (a little bit. Slight improvement in the Appa front! HUGE improvement on the Hugo front!) This girl can LAUGH! And it is a laugh that you can’t help but laugh right back at. Laugh, laugh, laugh – giggle, giggle, giggle – all day long (when the boys are home).

We’re doing so much better on the food front, thanks to some friend’s suggestions. Come to find out the girl likes cereal!

Look!! She's starting to smile when we take a photo!

Praising God on that one! I’m just being honest here; we’re a Eggos, cereal and toast kind of eaters in the morning. The idea of mixing up some crazy concoction wasn’t so much on my list of happy things to try.

But the thing that she just can’t get enough of is gim. Seaweed.

The girl can put this stuff DOWN! Rolls it in 1/3’s and stuffs it, crumbling as she forces it all in at once.  She’ll also rip it up and mix it in anything she’s eating, too.  I’m taking notes! Mix gim with everything we want her to try. We are eating noodles, chicken bulgogi, lots of rice, tuna mixed with rice/soy sauce/sesame oil….lots of new things to us.  So far, so good!

Logan went back to school on Tuesday and Miles on Wed. Seeing Cora ADORES her oppas, this was not easy for her.  She did fine until about noon when she had had it. It was time for them to come home! WERE they coming home? In a moment of despair, I told her that we could go get them – 1.5 hrs early.  The goal was to drive around and pray she fell asleep long enough to bring us to the time.

She fell asleep alright! After a good 30+ minutes driving.  And for all of 2 minutes. Princess costume and all.

She woke up and said, “Hakgyo?” (school) and even though there was 20 minutes + left, we went in. Told the office we were desperate to see our oppas and could we please sneak into 1st grade. We walked in and Cora saw Miles and said, “Mile! Come here!” and she ran at him. Sweet princess!  Then Logan somehow heard we were there and came in to bring her to show his friends.  She smooched him right on the lips in front of the whole class and all of the girls said, “Awwww!!”  😉  We teased Logan about that one! 😉

This morning, I decided that our problem was that she needed something to keep her busy! Arts and crafty things. Even though we have a 7 and 10 yr old in this house, they are boys. Do boys even know what to DO with beads and stickers and paints? Not my boys.  We headed off to Michaels for a bunch of art supplies.

Holy Playdough! 1.5 HOURS people! I’m not sure my boys have played with it longer than 1.5 minutes!

A typical Cora smile. Loving the earlier pic and the next pic where she actually SMILES!

And yes, the boys joined in!

But there’s nothing like a sink full of bubbly water, a bunch of cups and spoons and 72 towels to clean up the water.  She was wearing a shirt for the first 30 min or so. 😉

So now that we’ve almost been home for a week, here’s our reality.

Dave: He’s trying so hard to prove to Cora that he’s her loving, wonderful Appa.  She’s denied him pretty much anything after our first few days together.  No kiss/hug/hand holding. No carrying, no sharing food.  No touching the crayon that he is handing her.  Nothing.  The boys have repeatedly said they feel terrible, as do I. But happily, we are seeing glimmers!  She’s VERY quick to tell him goodbye and that she loves him when he goes to work or out and at night time.  And today, she sat with him and the boys while I took a shower.  That’s huge.  He’s keeping up the hard work and she’ll be won over soon, I’m sure!

Logan: He adores Coralie.  It’s a different relationship than it is with Miles. Logan is literally 2 of her in height and he is so good at humoring her with oohs and ahhs over her antics.  But he also seems to be ready to not be “on” all of the time.  I get it.  He wants to go play minecraft or veg after school. I get it. We’re just not there yet.  It’s a give and take because she loves them SO much and waits for them all day that I want her to get some them time for a good solid chuck of time.  Working on the balance. (Suggestions?)

Miles: Even though they are 2.5 yrs apart and a whole head apart in height, Cora looks to Miles as her best buddy. That’s wonderful and all, but it’s also a lot of work for him.  And he’s used to being the little bro tagging along with the big, not the big tagging along with the little.  And he’s SO SO much faster than she is (she’s a little uncoordinated and clunky) and he’s always having to run slower or wait up. We’re working on the balance – again. (Suggestions?)

Hugo: SO MUCH BETTER! Enough said.

Me: I am the adult she attached with (thank God for attaching to one of us!) so 100% of her care falls on me.  You might thing, “but she’s 5! How hard can it be?”  Well….it’s not necessarily HARD in a negative way, but in an “OMGosh am I tired and my back hurts from carrying her ALLLLL day long and I could use a 30 minute bath with the door closed 😉 to refresh. But I can’t do that yet.  I’m doing pretty well in remembering that this is temporary and honestly, she is a bundle of joy that it’s not a frustration on her part in anyway, just the longing for a break.  And because she hasn’t gravitated to Dave in a substantial way, I don’t see that happening any time in the near future.

And our house is a mess and (Dave, don’t read this) no one really gets that I need to have a semi-organized house to feel semi-normal, so if there are 10 loads of laundry not done because I can’t carry the baskets up and down because she won’t let me go up and down or if she does, she’s with me and I’m either carrying her or holding her hand, it’s tough!  I said they should pretend I’m on bedrest. 😉

She is 100% attached to me as if we were attached physically. Where I go, she goes. (Bathroom anyone?) Where she doesn’t want me to go, I don’t. (Shower anyone?) All day long I hear, “Mom! Come here!” even though I’m only 2 feet away. Again, I’m not frustrated to the point that I’m unhappy. I’m SO deeply in love with this girl (really! From like meeting #1! No kidding!) and whatever I need to do to help her heart heal, I’m definitely doing. But the human in me wants a regular shower, toast and coffee in the morning and a back that doesn’t ache and a husband who can share in the new challenges. One day very soon, I know. And then I’ll be whining because I miss it.

Tonight Logan started baseball, so Dave and Logan went to practice and desperate me and M and C went to Mc Donalds to get icecream.  Well, icecream for my full-bellied bulgogi lover and a chicken sandwich for Miles.

I just needed to get out and she does SO well when we got somewhere (we’ve only been like 4 places total since we’ve been home) that I thought it would be OK.  And it really was! They had a blast!

Can you hear the giggles!?

Next post will be a sleep post from any of the BTDT Amsa and older child moms! (um…as I’ve laid next to her ever night from the moment she goes to bed until morning. I think I’m stressing too much on the ‘what if she wakes up and is alone’ thing…more to come.)

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2 Responses to “In The Thick Of It”

  1. Dena April 21, 2012 at 4:06 am #

    Awesome, awesome update!! Been thinking of you guys.

  2. mommy2lukas April 21, 2012 at 5:32 pm #

    Hi jen! I’m on the fb adoption friends group with you and started following your blog while you were in Seoul. Cora is absolutely precious and sounds like she is doing remarkably well for all she’s been through in the last few weeks. I just love your updates and pictures and pray that Cora’s adjustment will continue to go well!

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