So…How are we doing?

16 Apr

Well…we’re adjusting. 😉

Our family day was interesting.  She came with us, shut down in our hotel (like didn’t move, didn’t speak, nothing…) and then we went to an inflatable park thing in our mall and she was having a BLAST with the boys. Laughing, yelling at them in Korean etc….but she would not show Dave or I any love or affection or even a hand holding. Normal, of course. She would grab L and M’s hand to avoid ours.  So glad we brought them along.

The next day was 10 times better.  She started willingly coming to me and letting me carry her.  She held my hand, smiled and went though the day with us with no problems. By dinner time, she was crazily laughing at the boys and being silly with them.  It was great!

Our last day in Korea was even better than the day before.  She was picking up some words, snuggling with me, playing with the kids and seemingly doing well. We went to a palace and took some pictures so we could have something with the background that is obviously Korea.  It was a good outing. She was all over the place, jumping up and down the stairs, pulling me around everywhere.

Our flight was pretty much a breeze when it came to her.  She didn’t cry, she slept, she played with her toys, she watched Toy Story two times.  The flight attendants checked in on her a lot, which was helpful. After a looooong 12.5 hr flight, 1.5 hrs through customs and 2 hrs drive home, we made it! She recognized her home and she ran in and went for the stairs to find her room.

She ate dinner, took a bath with Miles and was craaaaazy in the water! 😉

THEN, she crashed.  But that is officially when the grieving began. 😦  She cried on and off in her sleep the first few hours of sleep. She is sleeping with Dave and I and she latched onto me with both arms and both legs and just started crying. It was so sad.  But it has to happen and we were a little afraid that it hadn’t started yet.  I pray we can help her walk this path in the way we need to.

Today, up until about an hour ago, has been great!  She’s following me around, really, I’m her person.  Well, MILES is pretty much her person, but I’m her adult.  She’s not so sure about Appa yet, but he’s hanging in there.  We brought Hugo home and she does not think he’s such a great addition to our family. If she could crawl up the wall, I think she would. Appa’s tall though, so that’s good! ;)Not sure about transition with dogs…a little nervous about it!

But she has some traits from living in an orphanage. It’s obvious she’s never had anything of her own. She hoards things in her little purses and bags and will not let them go far from her sight. She carries them from room to room and exchanges things in there for newer things that she wants to add. She has a baby bed and she carries it from room to room. She opened a new puzzle last night and I thought we were going to do it together, but she just took the pieces and put them in her bag. She ate with the bag on her arm last night at supper. We are trying to tell her that these things belong to HER, but she doesn’t understand, of course. One day she will.

Then, she doesn’t know how to HAVE anything of her own, either, like food. She shares EVERYTHING to the point of hardly having any of her own. She got special candies from her caretakers and she gave all but 2 away. She had a box with two special candy bars and tried to give Miles one, but he said no, so she put it back in her bag. She took it out 2 minutes later and all but forced Logan to take one.

She will not willingly let us help her with anything. A hard bag to open, shoes on, unwrapping food, etc…she has to do it all by herself. We keep trying, though, to show her that she doesn’t have to be so independent.

Keep her in your thoughts and prayers as she learns what it means to be a daughter. I wish it were easier for her.  But if I had to answer the question of, “How are you doing” in one word, I’d say, “Hopeful”.  (Two words would be hopeful + exhausted! 😉 )

 

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8 Responses to “So…How are we doing?”

  1. Yvonne April 16, 2012 at 9:20 pm #

    Welcome Home! Thanks for the update and will continue to think and pray for you all as you adjust to a family of 5.

  2. Michelle Rutta Wahe April 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm #

    So happy to hear your update, Jen! I’m also happy to hear ‘hopeful’ as your adjective! I wonder of C. will save fewer of her possessions when she starts to feel truly comfortable in her surroundings…..as in….secure that this is her home to stay. Then she may feel like she can leave things be, and not have to tote the weight of her belongings always with her. With that secure feeling, she’ll be able to let her guard down. But I totally get where she’s coming from in the saving aspect….a very common trait.
    I’m so happy that your boys are the bridge to her new world too. I can imagine that is so precious to watch.
    Hugs and prayers are coming your way. Once you settle into your new routine, I’d like to stop over with a dinner for you all if that will help you….will just drop off, and say good bye….but I know the jet lag and fatigue can be daunting to do anything but just exist.
    Michelle Rutta Wahe

  3. stephanie April 17, 2012 at 1:33 am #

    WELCOME HOME! HOME! So happy that all went well. Being so jet lagged is sooo hard…hang in there. Just getting sleep cycles regulated will be HUGE!
    She is doing so well. It’s hard and sometimes messy and oh, so exhausting and at times overwhelming. It’s all of that and more. You will all figure out this new rhythm of life. You ARE figuring it out. Much love to you. Keep giving each other a lot of grace. 🙂

  4. Sandy Taylor April 17, 2012 at 11:10 am #

    Days will get easier. This is were lots of love and patience come in. So much newness for her. Will continue to pray for you all. Enjoy every minute, good and difficult, because it goes so fast.

  5. judy booth April 18, 2012 at 12:30 am #

    How wonderful. I have so enjoyed following this journey. You have a beautiful family. The boys seem to be so ready to love their sister. Thank you for letting me follow.
    Judy Booth [friend of Lonnie and Sue]

  6. Grace Hauth April 19, 2012 at 2:08 am #

    I have so enjoyed reading about your family’s wonderful journey. My husband, Eric, and I, along with our 23 month old son, Gavin are in the process of adopting a little girl from Korea. We are SO THRILLED for your family’s new addition in Coralie. She is beautiful and a treasure!

    I am Korean and I just wanted to let you know that I am telling you this with great affection and I hope you don’t take this as a criticism but I noticed that your “Welcome” sign is upside-down (the korean part). My husband said that I had to tell you so that you guys could always have a funny story to tell Cora as she grows up. For the record, I think it is wonderful how you and your family are trying to incorporate Korean culture into your lives.

    • Jen April 19, 2012 at 2:16 am #

      I am DYING laughing!! I’m SO SO glad you told me this! My inlaws put that up for us and to be honest, after 24+ hrs, I didn’t really LOOK look at it when we walked in the door. TOOOO funny. Now looking at the picture, it’s obvious to me, but of course, wouldn’t be to someone who doesn’t know Hangul. (Not that I DO, really, but I do know the sounds of each symbol.) Laughing so hard. I needed that laugh! The best of luck in your adoption!! ❤ ❤

  7. Grace Hauth April 21, 2012 at 3:02 am #

    Jen,

    I’m relieved and glad that it made you laugh!

    I’m so impressed that you are learning Hangul, it is a tough language for sure!!!!!

    Thank you for your well wishes. We will continue to follow your wonderful story.

    BTW, I just read your latest post and my father and I are the same way with gim, we could eat it all day long with anything, everything, and just plain. Also, your boys are just amazing big brothers to their baby sister. You are so blessed!!!

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