Hearing the whisper over the beating drum of fear

20 Mar

Adoption-blessed parents, I’m hoping you can help me.  I have a friend who is in the decision stage of a referral.  All of the “what-if’s” and the “but my life is good right now, just the way it is” is filling her eardrums.  I shared with her what made us take that leap of faith with Cora, but I just thought it would be great if she could hear from other people who took a leap of faith and said yes to the call of adoption, even when it was scary to do so. How did you drown the fears? What made you jump instead of turn around and play safe?

Thanks so much!!

FYI – THANK YOU for those who have responded and and in advance for those who are yet to. She’s reading! 🙂


10 Responses to “Hearing the whisper over the beating drum of fear”

  1. Karen March 20, 2012 at 4:44 pm #

    Someone told me once “you will never regret the children you have… only the ones you didn’t”

    I know it is scary, but I promise it will be totally worth it. Good luck with your decision!

  2. hlaclair March 20, 2012 at 5:07 pm #

    What Karen said is totally true! When we adopted our now two year old, we had kids who were 6 and 7 years old. They were getting self sufficient. They could entertain themselves in the mornings so we could both sleep in. It was EASY. When Finn came home, it was hard. I won’t lie. The biggest issue is that we can no longer leisurely sleep in the mornings LOL. But I wouldn’t trade all that lost sleep for anything. He is most AWESOME, even though he is the more difficult of all three of our children (all adopted from Korea, btw). He is an awesome addition, and if my husband were on board, I’d do it just ONE more time 🙂 You truly won’t regret the children you have, but might regret the ones you don’t have.

    And honestly, didn’t we all have those thoughts with our first child? About how easy our lives were without kids, how everything would change, etc….and do we regret having kids at all? NO. It was the best thing we’ve ever done. And I used to think I NEVER wanted kids…and now I want FOUR!

  3. lindsay March 20, 2012 at 5:54 pm #

    I would love to tell your friend all the ways adoption will bless her children. My brother and sister are both from Korea and they have brought such joy to my life!! Fear can take so much from us and our family! Stepping out in faith and knowing that adoption is on you heart for a reason. It is not just what you can give to your adopted child, but also they are going to bring so many new and wonderful things to your family as well! Don’t miss out on that for the world!!!

  4. Addie March 20, 2012 at 6:15 pm #

    Well, to be honest, God told us to adopt our son (very clearly)… how could I say I believed in God if I didnt do what He said? My husband was also very leary of adopting, so I asked him if it was himself he didnt trust or God? And once, he decided that it was just himself that was calling him to be scared, then he let go and we went after our son. Im not going to say it was easy or God gave us everything (although in the end, He did)… our adoption was one of the the hardest things weve ever done and thankfully we survived it – although not without some battle scars and bruising (happens when all your friends, family and church desert you)… even now, after he has been home almost a year and a half, we are still having to fight to get everything with the adoption… but it doesnt change that Wallace was and is our son, and if we hadnt fought for him, no one would have.

  5. Addie March 20, 2012 at 6:18 pm #

    Just read this and thought it might be appropriate

  6. Grace Licciardi March 20, 2012 at 8:02 pm #

    We did not deal with a big age difference between our bios and adopted, so I can’t say that we were hesitant because of the easy place we were already at! Actually with a 5 yr old and 3 yr old already at home, the thought of bringing another little on board freaked me out at times. I work full time as well as parent full time, so there were moments of clarity when I asked myself….”what have I done?” Not to mention, we did not really have other “adoption friends” or family members that supported us on this. We kinda just said God called us here, so this is where we are. This journey has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but is has been the most rewarding. To look at my little girl fills me with such joy and hope and NO regrets! I think if we had never stepped out and adopted, I would always say what if and regret not moving forward. I think that is one of the biggest question to ask yourself when faced with a choice….will I regret not doing this if God has brought me to this journey? Am I saying “no” because my flesh is saying no?! Hugs

  7. Wendi March 20, 2012 at 8:36 pm #

    First, I would say how comfortable are you, really? Is that something God is telling you. Or could it be a lie? I sometimes wonder about Jesus and his comfort levels. I also LOVE the saying, “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely, in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broad side in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming, “What a ride!”
    God blesses us in ways indescribable when we do things out of our comfort zone. Bringing Mia home last June has blown my mind in complete awesomeness and hoping to bring my little Avah home this summer too… Isnt comfort. But an absolute blessing!!!
    Praying for your friend to take this leap of faith!!! This road isn’t always easy but I can guarantee the blessing is far worth it!:):)

  8. Kristen March 20, 2012 at 8:59 pm #

    When we first got Jack I thought “what have I done?” I brought him to a new country, changed his name and brought him into an extended family with no exposure to international adoption. But those fears quickly gave way to the feeling that we were meant for each other ad everything unfolded the way it was supposed to. Quite simply: I can’t imagine how empty my life would have been without the blessing of him in it. Best wishes to your friend!

  9. Amy Meeker March 20, 2012 at 9:25 pm #

    We were in a place where our daughter was more independent and we were being able to afford more “things”. When we saw our sons face we knew deep in our hearts that he was ours. We thought about our life being easy and we even discussed keeping it that way. We decided otherwise and brought our son home in April 2011. He had minor heart condition which turned out to be major. He also underwent a huge surgery 5 months ago. It was hard, I am not going to lie and I’ve been scared. Scared that he would die and scared that we would lose everything because the cost of his surgery. BUT GOD….he has given us grace in every situation and turned every fear into a joy that I can not sufficeintly express. Our bio daughter LOVES our adopted son. At 2 and 4 years old they are truly best friends. She has learned a lot from having him as her brother and we have another family member. Timmy is a gift and just so you know we have survived the medical bill phase (we make an average income). AND we are adopting again a little girl with more severe special needs BECAUSE we have seen God come through and we know we will see it again. Adoption is a faith building exercise, not always fun but you will experience miracles you never dreamed of.

  10. Aimee March 24, 2012 at 11:44 pm #

    Oh, how I understand this fear thing! Deciding to say “yes” was scary, no doubt, but after lots of prayer and consultation with professionals and reading, we felt each of our little guys was ours and we stepped out in faith. With each, there was the fear of messing up “perfect;” with each, the fear of the medical issues we weren’t yet familiar with, but were willing to learn, and the fear of the unknown.

    Nothing has ever underscored for me, like adoption has, my own helplessness in the face of fear and difficulty, and God’s miraculous provision. I kept remembering something I heard once, that being afraid doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do something you feel called to do – instead, “do it afraid!” We knew we were called to this, and we couldn’t wait for the fear to go away to step out. It helped to link up with an online community of folks adoption waiting children, and to spend time with local families built through adoption. I remember reading books about folks who’d stepped out in faith and feeling really inspired – Kisses from Katie would be a good book for someone wanting inspiration and encouragement to consider walking a different path.

    We have been so incredibly blessed by our guys and are forever thankful that with God’s help, we said yes.

    If you want to read a bit more about our walk through fear, parts 1-3 of our adoption story are on the sidebar of my blog. Blessings to you!

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