The Wait – In Cora’s Eyes

15 Dec

As I’ve been busy preparing for Cora to come home, I’ve been thinking about her part in all of this.  The wait is so hard for us. And when I say so hard, I mean at times, it’s physically painful to wat another day.Literally painful. Fear, doubt and what if’s and unknown’s come to mind when we’re at our lowest of lows.

But today, I thought about Cora’s view on this wait.  She has known about us since June.  My friend Wendi adopted her little girl from the same US and same Korean agency as we are adopting Cora from. They waited 7 WEEKS to travel to pick up their daughter. SEVEN weeks. Their care package didn’t even get to her until the day they visited her for the first time.

So I think, Cora knows she has a mom and dad, she’s seen other children from her orphanage leave to go home with THEIR mom and dad, but all she has of us are pictures and videos and the question, “Are they really coming?” 

I can’t imagine her doubt, fear, unknowns and what if’s that pop in her mind.  Are they real? If they love me, where are they? Why aren’t they coming for me? Maybe she’s a bit angry that we’re not there yet.  How long can a picture book hold you over until the real deal comes.  Does she even look at our pictures any more?

For those of you who are not in the Korean adoption world, the wait is simply because Korean officials put a quota on the number of children that will go to their forever families each year. Once hit (we missed by mere weeks) there are no more children allowed to go home. If we had started the process weeks earlier, Cora would have been home this summer. She’d be in 4K now…HERE.  But she sits and waits and probably wonders if we love her so much like we say in the videos and in the pictures, then where the heck are we.

*sigh*

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