Blah.

22 Nov

Blah.

That’s how I’m feeling. I am feeling so blah that I can’t even think of anything else to title this post.  It has to do with the fact that I am going to package up Cora’s care package tomorrow and I’m struggling with that so much.  It’s her Christmas care package, and her last care package from us.  We made a video tour of our house, and I’m very disappointed in it. It’s very shaky, I have the tendency to raise my voice 2 octaves higher than the already high voice that I have. It’s ridiculous.  The kids are adorable in it, though. Adorable.

Along with the video, I pretty much struggled with everything.  I’ll post pictures tomorrow, but in my opinion, none of it screams, “MERRY CHRISTMAS my little girl.”  I wandered around target looking for the smallest things possible to fit in it, to no avail.  Because Christmas isn’t SMALL enough to fit into a 1 gallon zip lock bag.  Two of my favorite teenagers went shopping with me this weekend and we picked out some Christmasy jewelry, which is a nice addition to the “loot”.

It’s not about the gifts, it’s about how I feel about what I’m sending and so far I’ve been very excited about what I’ve sent. This time, I’m not feeling that same joy.  Maybe I will tomorrow when I start stuffing it in that bag. Again, it’s not about the gifts.  Christmas is not about the gifts. It’s about being together – the family, the kids, the decorations. It’s about going to church together and listening to Christmas Carols for the whole month of December.  It’s about what feels like a million days off of school to hang out together. THAT is Christmas.  Christmas doesn’t fit in a gallon zip lock bag.  And in sending it, I think it’s me having to disconnect SJ from our Christmas. Her “package” is done and now it’s time to, again, be patient.  (Again.) (!!!!!)

But SJ IS our family and I’m just struggling with fitting my Christmas love to her in a one gallon zip lock bag.

Blah.

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2 Responses to “Blah.”

  1. grammom November 22, 2011 at 11:52 am #

    Jennifer your family and friends walk this slow walk with you and we are all praying that SJ will be home soon.

  2. Grace P. November 23, 2011 at 9:42 pm #

    Feel better friend! Maybe this will make your day, I am passing on a Liebster Blog award to you!

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